I am an actor on a stage

I am an actor on a stage.
I'm the best at this game charades,
Pretend to be another meaningless blank page
I must, to dance at life's masquerade.

I work to protect my porcelain made mask,
But act to show it off, not what lies beneath.
I learn to set about my tasks,
Without having to grind my smile-set teeth.

My mask is brittle and cracked.
So many years of getting slapped,
Then having to convincingly smile back.
Showing I never am or will be emotionally capped.

I am told to be strong through trails.
I am told to hold fast in prosecution.
I am told to withstand the miles.
I am told to fight my execution.

My hearts been ravaged.
Gaping, pus filled, raw flesh are left.
There's only scraps that can't be scavenged.
The love filled center has succumbed to theft.

My soul has long been consumed and poisoned.
Tainted and rotted by life's brutal torment.
Leaving a black empty abyss lacking any conviction.
All things that made me me aren't even lying dormant.

They have died and yet I place my mask back on, concealing all cracks in the surface.
I act on as if I'm un-effected and continue to smile as if this is a wonderful place, though that's never been the case.